Poetry: “My Life’s Walk”.

Yesterday I went for a walk
I told myself I would walk and find peace
I would walk until I found some joy
And give this sadness some release
 
I would walk for just a little while
Get away from the home which is not mine
I kept going… just a little further
In these woods my God and I would shine
 
I walked and walked and could feel God near
I did not look back at my sorrow that I am trying to leave behind
The sorrow of a love which I am leaving with torturous pain
A love I cannot bring to an unknown life resigned
 
I walked passed glaring eyes and familiar places
One foot in front of the other…. Just breathe
I tried to walk out of my loves heart, walk further and beyond
Walk and physically remove and a heart I sheathe
 
I walk purposefully and carefully so I do not fall
But tearing this love from my heart will damage me deeply
For the eyes keep on asking me why I have left
I am hurting my love who looks up and asks ‘why cant you keep me’
 
The love which was there and constant and protected me from life
I am walking and trying to leave this love with endless eyes
I am breaking! With every step I break some more
Irreparable damage done by me yet my heart defies
 
I walk thinking I could leave it all….
If I just walk a bit further until God is by my side
I beg Him to fix this which is breaking me so deep
So with this tearing of the soul and mind I abide
 
I call it my life’s walk, I will either die or strive
I feel like I’ve been left behind yet it is I that is leaving
My heart feels wild and free and damaged and broken
I start this walk of mine with baby steps, my heart deceiving
 
So yesterday I went for a walk
Into an existence which is terrifying and unknow
Leaving my love which has protected me from life
Ultimate betrayal for all the love ever shown
 
This aching feeling of a constant hurting heart
Is it worth to love so deep or should my life I guard?
I am hurting the one I love the most and purely
Is it fair to burden another with a mind unbarred?
 
So I just walk and walk desperate to run far away
And say to myself, just breathe and walk tall
Walk, one foot and then the next, resisting the urge to run
For with nowhere to go I will most certainly fall
 
So I walk my life’s walk looking for answers in a world beyond
I am trying to catch up to God as I search for inner peace
I need to resign myself to this love which I decided I lost
And find some acceptance for a soul to release
 
Yesterday I started my life’s walk
But have not found anything of which I was searching
I still don’t know how to leave this love so I walk some more
Maybe I’ll just get lost and find comfort in just disappearing
 
Or maybe I will aimlessly walk forever more
Forever to be punished for the hurt others endured
Forever wanting to run but not willing and not able
Empty because I am leaving a life that my love reassured
 
 
~ Becca ~
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11 Comments Add yours

  1. Rob says:

    I’ve never seen you use my love in relation to this situation, unless you as talking about another? It’s going to be ok. You’re going to be ok…

    Like

    1. Rebecca says:

      I’m talking about another

      Like

  2. Rob says:

    and I meant calling the person you’re leaving my life and describing it as protective

    Like

    1. Rebecca says:

      If yoy want to ask me a question which is personal, I suggest you ask me privately. If I wanted to share that information on my blog, I would have done that in the post.

      Like

      1. Rob says:

        wauw, ok then

        Like

  3. Singledust says:

    loved this Rebecca, the walk with self and coming to an understanding of sorts, I walk a lot and trying to sort my head and heart out, works most of the time. You words are really soft here, I loved them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Awesome ………. give the furry baby a kiss from me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      I will 😊. She’s cute, isn’t she 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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