I am once again staring out the window
Snow falling from the skies
This winter gloom keeps beating me down
As my tears drop from my eyes
Where is the sun. Where are my rainbows?
They seem to have said goodbye
I don’t deserve anything other than the snow
The anguish takes hold and I imagine in a grave I lie
In my grave I look up to the heavens, still no God in sight
Snow is covering me as I slowly disappear
The coldness of it all makes my breathing choke
And once again it is death I do not fear
My grave was but a dream
I am still here staring out of the window
Snow is still falling down on the promise of spring
All of my moves my thoughts my words billow
This isn’t demons, this sorrow I speak of
It is loss of dreams and of hope
I no longer believe I deserve to rise above
So I run and run and run down this slope
I am now once again standing at the abyss
I scream in anguish at the emptiness
I peer over the edge and look down
As all my emotions I undress
What I see below is frightening indeed
I see me laying down, the abyss is my grave
The ghost which is me is staring up looking for my heart
Once again I feel like I have been hit by a cold wave
This abyss I keep visiting, will end up being the death of me
But the lure of lying down and going numb seems so sweet
The ghost which is me, this childlike girl staring up with big tortured eyes
Does she need to be saved or has she accepted defeat?
Or is she still looking for hope and dreams and rainbows?
Is she just simply resting and gaining strength?
Is she still seeking God and all of His Glory?
Or should I finally lie her tortured soul to rest?
~ Becca ~