I was listening to Morgan Freeman explain something and I realized something profound about me.
Someone asked him what he would do if he had not made it as an actor…. He said he would act. Anywhere. Maybe working in someone’s yard or at whatever job he would be doing; he would act. It is inside of him and he would die if he didn’t.
I am slowly killing myself by drowning my creativity until there is nothing left…. of me. I need to stop.
I am a painter. So I paint. I am a creator of art. So I create. If anything is stopping me from doing so, I need to eliminate it from my life. Whoever or whatever is trying to stop me from being the core of which I am created, I need to leave this whoever or whatever behind.
I am losing me. If I continue on this path I am on, all that will be left is an empty shell. No life, no love.
I need to leave. I need to be free to be who I am, in every sense of my being. I need to rediscover my passions, my faiths, my loves, my body, myself. I know who I am, I have a deep understanding of who I am but I am so disconnecting from my being that even though I know, I do not feel. I am so incredible detached from the reality which is me.
But I have a reality. I am a reality. I am me. I am created with a good and creative soul. I deserve not just a better life, but I deserve to live. I have not harmed others intentionally, so why should I be denied my soul? I am a being. God created me. I need to be the best that I can be – for me. For God.
It aches in my heart as I write this because it has never been this true.
~ Becca ~ ………….. Morgan Freeman sure is a smart dude….. No wonder he played God in that movie.