Poetry: “The Being Called Depression”.

on

There has to be glory after this life

Thought of darkness is torture, unthinkable

So it is for faith that I strive

 

If there is no God I could do what I want and not feel shame

I could fuck, lie, cheat, I could jump off of a bridge

By living in truth I would have nothing to gain

 

What would be the point of all this pain inside

If there is no heaven and this is my hell?

These urges to die… why fight?

 

My fear is ever so real, it fuels my pain

God, please stop these voices in my head

If there is no heaven, my life, my fight is all in vain. Insane

 

My forever fight is to try and win the war

My suicide means it won

My enemy is depression and it is stronger than before

 

The war is fought battle after battle

I’ve won them so far but the war has not ended

This is my life, with this I have to settle

 

So until I meet my God, I will take shelter under His wings

I will hide from it all and fight off this pain

Until I die and whatever peace death brings

 

~ Becca ~

 

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17 Comments Add yours

  1. Being good or saying the truth is nothing to do with a “gain”.. I understand its poetical expression only, but though would like to mention it. God is you, and you are God. We are all ‘kind of God’, belongs to the Earth

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      I could have a hell of a lot more fun without having to think of societies ‘good’.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s nothing about “societies good”, it’s about your-self: how do you see it – what’s good and what’s wrong

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Rebecca says:

          Society expects me to not leave it all behind and go searching for the great beyond -no matter how crazy that idea seems.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Really? Bcz my society doesn’t expect much from me..at least I’m pretending- I do not understand:) and it works so far :))

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Rebecca says:

              I dont understand this society. Woods, nature I understand.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Do not try to understand 😂👋 I don’t understand as well…

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Rebecca says:

                  Jaha… that s your strategy!!

                  Liked by 1 person

          2. In any case – wish you win and over-win 🙂 society and yourself

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Rebecca says:

              I will win. I will triumph.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. I believe in you bcz I did 👋🤗

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Rebecca says:

                  Thank you Ray. It means a lot.

                  Liked by 1 person

  2. How does it feels – pain…? Maybe pain isn’t pain but emptiness

    Like

    1. Rebecca says:

      No, its pain.

      Like

  3. Rob says:

    We are all products of original sin, as such ours is to suffer until the heavens–however we determine what that is–open up for us. We cannot throw the gift of life away that was freely given. You are catholic so I know you know that suicide leads you straight to hell, for all eternity. Be strong, believe, have faith, endure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      I’m not a Catholic, I’m Protestant (but to most people that is the same 😉 ). I use to try to make deals with God….. He could kill me and I could entertain Him in heaven. Or I would wonder if I could trick God…. Casually stroll off of a bridge like it was an accident… ‘accidently’ get hit by a train or bus…. But I would have to catch God off guard, when He wasn’t watching. The problem is that He is always watching! It gets annoying at times.
      I wont kill myself. I am suicidal at times, yes. But I do not believe I will kill myself. I will make stupid decisions on life instead.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Rob says:

        Better the latter than the former

        Liked by 1 person

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