A friend of mine recently introduced me to Eckhart Tolle. I have to tall ya -that is one smart dude!! Listening to him makes my mind silent. At ease. Here. Now. Tolle said:
“Nothing else is required but to accept what is here now.
Whatever you accept, you go beyond. That’s a miracle.
If you fight it, you are stuck with it.”
And then he laughed.
It has started to make me think in a completely different direction with this being that is called depression… the one that I have head-buttet and am now fighting in a boxing ring. Dare my mind think of what Eckhart Tolle -this clearly smarter than me dude- said and use it as a reality? Can I actually choose to not fight in this boxing ring and…. walk away? “If you fight it, you are stuck with it”. (yes, then he laughed, as in to say ‘Duuhhhhh’).
But what would bind the being that is called depression away from me? Or is it I that has bound the being called depression to my mind? Does this being have this big grin on its face because it is actually laughing its ass off at the irony of the situation?
Eckhart Tolle has opened the remote thought of not having to keep the being called depression at a safe distance. He has opened the thought of leaving it behind. But to accept it as a truth is also a danger that I am well aware of. If I accept that I have left it behind but I am wrong…. it will sneak up on me. Since the age of 11 -when I had my first full blown depression- I have had to think of depression as a backpack, something I was always forced to take with me wherever I go. If I were to leave this backpack, just put it down, it does not disappear. It is still there.
But it all sounds too good to be true. And I feel a bit cheated! 36 fucking years and no one bothered telling me? What the fuck.
Or is all of this just an illusion and this is actually round 2 in the boxing ring with the being called depression? Ya, there’s a twist! But at least that would mean I am winning this round! Yeah me.
I am going to contemplate all of this new found wisdom (or illusion) some more over some coffee. Deep thoughts, deep thoughts….. Definitely need more coffee.
~ Becca ~