I can not just see it nearby.
It has not just made contact.
It is right in front of me staring me in the face and holding me down by the arms.
I always see depression as a being. Black as coal with a shiny white grin. An evil grin. And right now it is standing right in front me, its face 2 cm from mine. It has no eyes but it sees me -it sees everything of me, about me, in me. It is slightly taller than me and it has his hands on my upper arms. It is holding them tightly against my body.
I cant go forward, it wont let me.
I cant go backwards, it’s holding me down.
I try to make a fancy move and zigzag around but it trips me.
So what is one to do? I have decided today. I am going to head-butt it. I decided to tell someone (yes, you, my secret blog) just in case I do not make it out alive. At least you know I went down fighting!!!
I need to get my funk back…. my mojo. I need to try and find a way to eat. I need to break these bad habits. I need some focus. I fully understand this dark being called depression will never leave me. But I would like it at a safe distance, let’s say 1 km would do. I think my angels are closer than that.
So dear readers. I am preparing for an epic battles -yet again. I’ll let you know how it goes.
~ Becca ~