I went snowmobiling today to open up the tracks for customers. Here are our snowmobiling rules.
- Go fast. It’s more fun when you go fast. Legally you can drive up to 70 km/hr….. but I have yet to meet a cop in the wilderness. So let’s say… 70ish…. And up.
- If you see any animals, try not to hit them! It will just leave a mess…… but you do have those obnoxious birds that hide under the snow… they certainly make a splash 😀 10 points for every bird!
- If you get cold, screw you. You should have dressed better. You are in fucking Lapland, for heavens sake.
- If you see a ditch in the snow, do not steer towards it…. It is probably a river. It is a snowmobile, not a rivermobile and you are paying for the damage.
- If you feel the snowmobile tipping to one end, over with the leg and dangle on the other side. Yes, you might fall off…. If you happen to tip with your snowmobile, stop crying, get up and let’s go. It is just snow and I do not want to wait for you.
- If we are hurdling towards a tree, it is every man for himself. I suggest you either jump or duck.
- Last, but definitely not least. When you are on a lake and you start seeing water, Get The fuck Out of There. Drive really really really really really really fast, do not look back and good God – do not stop. I aint getting you…..
~ Becca ~