Clean. Everything is clean.

Our snow is back! Yeah. 

We got at least 30 cm during the night and it is suppose to snow all day today. My mood, my thoughts are always more positive when it has snowed. You know how the snow always covers all the crap that is underneath? I think it does that with my dark thoughts as well. They get subdued.  

So today I feel fun. I feel free. When I walk through an open field covered in snow, I can imagine that I am the first to ever be there. Maybe even the only person out there. Which would mean that the bastards that haunt me, the bitches that cheat me, the ‘men’ that fucked me, they are all gone. Covered beneath this beautiful blanket of snow. I can walk on top of them.  I can tramp on them. I have control.  

Of course…………. That does make me terrified for spring. Can you imagine all of the shit that is gonna come out?? So I will have my fun now. For spring I might not survive.  

 

 

 I did not sleep well, again. My mind wonders when I can not sleep. It usually goes to poetry…. The dirty kind. But if I don’t get up to write it down, it is gone by the morning. As is what I had in my head yesterday night. I have fragments of it left.

I do realize how bitter I sound. I am hoping that by writing this blog it will get better. I need some peace. Until then I decide who I fuck.

~ Becca ~

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39 Comments Add yours

  1. Rob says:

    I absolutely love your passion for nature. And yes, suddenly I can read you on phone! You don’t sound bitter at all! Don’t worry about what others think of your emotions expressed. Just spill it as it pours! I made that up yesterday you like? Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Yes, I like 😊. I got stuck trying to write a specific poem yesterday. It really frustrated me!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Rob says:

        Perhaps you’re trying too hard? Just a guess. Your not in English lit class

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Rebecca says:

          I was trying to write a sequel to the other poem, the one that end with ‘and now tell me what you would do to me’. But I don’t think I know what a man taking revenge would do…. it kept on coming out to…. sweet.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Rob says:

            Hmmm, certainly a conundrum for you

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Rebecca says:

              It is. It is indeed. Men are hard to figure out.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Rob says:

                We’re the basest of animals when it comes to cleaning up that scene of yours

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Rebecca says:

                  Really? No imagination when it comes to vengeance? What a waste of opportunity.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Rob says:

                    You trying to “rope” me in? Lol. It was written in my head before your ink dried

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. Rebecca says:

                      😇 Maybe it can only be written by a man… maybe I should focus on new poetry instead.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. Rob says:

                      I’m confused. Erotic poetry in general, or second part of your poem?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. Rebecca says:

                      The second part.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. Rob says:

                      Oh now don’t be saying silly things like that Rebecca! You write it perfectly well. If you’d like, I have some lines in mind for the ending, but I can’t from my phone cause I gotta flesh them out😎

                      Liked by 1 person

                    5. Rebecca says:

                      Oh my…. oh my oh my. You have peeked my curiosity.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    6. Rob says:

                      Well, I’ve never ever done a collaboration, so you’d be my first. I isnt there a saying “You never forget your first?”

                      Liked by 1 person

                    7. Rebecca says:

                      One usually does not forget me…

                      Liked by 1 person

                    8. Rebecca says:

                      Robmoji is not being nice, I think he needs a time out 🙂 What time is it over there? I’m curious about the time difference…

                      Liked by 1 person

                    9. Rob says:

                      It’s 2:52. I will do the timeout for him

                      Liked by 1 person

                    10. Rebecca says:

                      So there is a 6 hour difference then. I hope I sleep better tonight.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    11. Rob says:

                      Me too. Drink some warm milk, I’ll be up to run your back

                      Like

                    12. Rebecca says:

                      Eeeeeuw milk. I am working on a facts list about me for the blog…. I’ll put my dislike for milk in there now. Something stronger. Oh wait, that’s not nice to say to someone in recovery?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    13. Rob says:

                      Please, ice water I’m my veins. You’re not in recovery right? No worries

                      Liked by 1 person

                    14. Rebecca says:

                      Goodnight Rob.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    15. Rob says:

                      Sweet dreams. May you drift on angels wings into the sweet repose of slumber

                      Liked by 1 person

                    16. Rebecca says:

                      You and your words… I’ll sleep on clouds.

                      Liked by 1 person

      2. Rob says:

        I meant to add would have loved to have you in my lit class, wpuld hsve bern some detention involved

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Rebecca says:

          Haha but I never get detention. I am an angel so sweet, remember?

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Rob says:

            Uh huh, and I’m Peter Pan

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Rebecca says:

              Peter Pan is too young…. I wouldn’t be able to do that…

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Rob says:

                Peter Pan is as old as time. He is not a child lol. Haven’t you ever watched Storybrook? He’s very dastardly. And no, he’s not my first choice. Id be Thor if I could be anyone. Wielding a lightening hammer is badass. And he has no known weaknesses

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Rebecca says:

                  Oooooh. Thor would do just fine. But one would need strong rope…

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Rob says:

                    Mighty strong

                    Liked by 1 person

  2. Im usually writing all my ideas or thoughts ( if i can) at once, in an app on my phone, called Remembary (its a kind of simple diary)… otherwise allllll will be gone right the next minute lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Ya… I have to get better at writing ideas down!! How long have you been blogging?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 6th march 2017 going to be 3 month :))

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Rebecca says:

    It’s fun isn’t it! It really feels free.

    Like

  4. Don’t be so tough on yourself, you deserve all the fun in this world.

    Liked by 1 person

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