Fantasy.

I’m in my new world, hanging from reality by a piece of string
My fantasies are not healthy
I crave after what this new world can bring.
I run inside my head more often than not
I’m losing the battle
I am disappearing from reality, a lot.

Soon I won’t be able to return
I will live there forever and ever
It won’t make me better… when will I learn?
This burden, this struggle, this pain
My new world does not give me this
But aren’t the people that live inside their heads insane?

My new world is about him and him alone
It maybe love, but it’s also nothing
It’s made up, it’s as cold as a stone.
It’s endless lovemaking, me and him in my head so beautiful
He loves me the way I want to be loved
Can not come back from that, too big of a struggle.

I wake up and stare at reality with empty eyes
There is nothing there
I wake up and find even more lies.
So I will keep my eyes shut and I’ll stay here
Soon there will be no way in and no way out
This life is easier, it is more sincere.

It is exactly what I make of it
Anyone can live, die and love
But I also know that it is a bottomless pit.
I fall and fall and fall and no one hears my cries
But it’s okay, I am ready to end this pain
Therefor my reality is what I sacrifice.

~ Rebecca ~

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44 Comments Add yours

    1. Rebecca says:

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  1. Janet says:

    Wow. That’s pretty powerful. It’s so interesting to meet your non-wilderness life blog persona. A lot going on in your life, your world, your head. And I absolutely love that photograph. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      To be honest, I am terrified of this blog! It is a very secret part of me which I do not fully understand.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Janet says:

        Did you delete it? I just looked and it said blog was removed.

        Like

  2. Janet says:

    Oh here it is lol. Weird. Your little icon took me to something else. Goodnight… xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Goodnight Janet 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Rob says:

    You should have been writing this long ago. This is incredible writing Rebecca. Oh the angst! So lovingly penned

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Thank you Rob. But to be honest, this is not the poem I had planned to post today… but I chickened out!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Rob says:

        Oh Rebecca the only way to do it is dive right in. You won’t drown I am promise! You will see. I’ve got your back

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Rebecca says:

          Haha ok. I have poetry that is.. hummm… Not for young viewers 😋

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Rob says:

            So? I’ve written some quite near porn poetry lol. I put a +17 after the title, and a WARNING SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL header in the body. After that, all bets are off. Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed, embarrassed or afraid of my dear. You just keep surprising me everyday, now don’t you?

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Rebecca says:

              I do? 😊 Well this would be in the ‘near porn’ category. Maybe I’ll be braver tonight. .. Or tomorrow?

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Rob says:

                Whenever you are ready, just jump lol

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Rebecca says:

                  Leap… Into the abyss. Have you had any negative comments on your sexual poems?

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Rob says:

                    Nope not one. But I haven’t gotten any marriage proposals either dammitt. There are lots of folks out there who read and write erotica. Don’t be afraid! You will be surprised at the responses you get.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. Rebecca says:

                      Ok then.. I am leaping. Up in about 45 minutes. But you better not judge me 😉

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. Rob says:

                      Have I ever? Just might make me want to go snowmobiling that much quicker haha

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. Rebecca says:

                      Well, it’s up.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. Rob says:

                      That’s showing guts! On my way

                      Like

                    5. Rob says:

                      Whoa it says authors have deleted the site, wtf?

                      Like

                    6. Rebecca says:

                      Huh?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    7. Rob says:

                      I go to click on your link and it says you took your site down😨

                      Like

                    8. Rebecca says:

                      That is odd!!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    9. Rob says:

                      Still nothing

                      Like

                    10. Rebecca says:

                      I’ll have to get to a laptop and see what is up

                      Liked by 1 person

                    11. Rebecca says:

                      Karma for writing about sex 😆

                      Liked by 1 person

                    12. Rebecca says:

                      Does it still say deleted? Did you get to read my poem?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    13. Rob says:

                      Yes, I’m so annoyed. I can view all others I tried

                      Like

                    14. Rebecca says:

                      So strange. I can see it even when I am logged out.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    15. Rebecca says:

                      I published it again…. we’ll see.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    16. Rob says:

                      Sorry. Do you have mobile capability active and have you tried it on your phone? I know it works on computer, I commented. It’s some setting for mobile issue, trust me. Somewhere in admin panel reading writing sharing one of those tabs

                      Like

                    17. Rob says:

                      It’s got to be in admin settings. Can you do it from your phone?

                      Like

                    18. Rebecca says:

                      I reposted it. Still the same?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    19. Rob says:

                      See my earlier comment

                      Like

                    20. Rebecca says:

                      I give up. I see no difference on phone or computer and everything says published… haha so that was me trying to be daring!!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    21. Rob says:

                      Rebecca darling, did you try it from your phone?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    22. Rebecca says:

                      Rob dear, I did! But is a smart phone and I think it might be smarter than me.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    23. Rob says:

                      Haha. And I wasn’t being condescending lol. Ill try to check my mobile settings when I get out in 3 hours. You’ll be out cold by then.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    24. Rebecca says:

                      Yes I will 🙂 Although yesterday I couldn’t sleep. So maybe not. My head goes all over the place when I cant sleep. If you want I can send you my poem on e-mail or something?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    25. Rob says:

                      That would be great Keatsj1964@gmail.com. I’ve been waiting to read the damn thing for 20 hours😂😂😂😂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    26. Rebecca says:

                      Haven’t deleted anything 🤔

                      Liked by 1 person

                    27. Rob says:

                      Can’t get to you

                      Like

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