I am not in a depression, I can just see it nearby.

When I look over my left shoulder, I dont see it at all. All I see is life.

But when I look over my right shoulder, however, I see it standing there, so close. When I see how close it actually is, that is when I realise that that is the reason why I do not see it when I look over my left shoulder…. it is too close.

I see depression as an actual being. Completely black but with a bright white smile. Not a friendly smile. Almost like a demon.

I am fighting the urge that tells me to look over my right shoulder, the urge to look closer. I am not scared of depression anymore… I have fought and won many battles.

But what I do not understand about myself is that I have always done it in complete silence.

Why?

Anyways, like the titles says, I am not in a depression which I am grateful for. I have actually been having some really good days. I finally understood why images of the abuse came back to haunt me so vividly for a while. And the reason was very silly, so maybe they are gone again. ❄️❄️

~ Rebecca ~

 

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27 Comments Add yours

  1. Rob says:

    Brilliant. Love the image you used too. I am assuming you took the photo, since you take so many good ones. I hope you incorporate them into this blog, because they are lovely.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Thank you Rob 🙂 Yes, I will definitely be using photography in this blog…. but I might keep it in black & white, I have not decided yet. Some poetry is also coming up soon :;

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Rob says:

        I like that idea

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Rob says:

    Reblogged this on Just Ruminating and commented:
    I just found out that Rebeccas his THIS blog, in addition to her primary blog wildernesslifeblog. This blog is about HER, and she has always supported me, so I want you to go visit her! She writes beautifully, and the pictures she takes out in Lapland are stunning! The last Blog Spotlight I did, only 1 person commented on that blog 😦 Show her some love won’t you? Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Thank you, you are a good person Rob.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Rob says:

        You know I have much love for you!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Rebecca says:

          Starting to feel it, yes 😀 Right back at ya.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Rob says:

            Starting😔what happened to our love😓

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Rebecca says:

              Haha! Young love 🙂 But I am feeling it 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

  3. E says:

    I love your imagery and the sepia photography! Nature is good medicine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Nature is THE medicin, especially for depression 🙂 I love black & white photography, I has such a nostalgic feel to I 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. yassy says:

    One hell of a great artist , writer photographer rolled into one. A winning combi. Looking forward to reading all of your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Thank you for your kind words 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yassy says:

        Tweeting this if it’s ok

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Rebecca says:

          Yepp, definitely ok.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. yassy says:

            Yeah. Done. Am happy.

            Liked by 1 person

      2. yassy says:

        Always welcome

        Like

  5. TeamLoza says:

    Wow! This spoke to me! I’ll never forget walking in and out of depression. I look forward to reading more from you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Thank you! It is an ‘interesting’ journey.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. TeamLoza says:

        Yes it is! It’s a never ending journey, it will always try to creep back up; but we will always conquer it!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Great post, and your blog looks amazing by the way xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rebecca says:

      Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

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