I just found out my brother is going to be a father.
I found out…. on facebook. In a general post to ‘the public’. Now, I have always felt that I was the odd one out in our family but I did always assume I had a higher status than facebook. I hardly feel part of this family anymore but this still really hurt.
So I started binge eating. Mature hugh. My emotions are all over the place. I want to yell at my family, I want to hide in a corner, I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to tell my sister how I actually feel about her (that bitch), I want for my dog to not be considered old…. and yet I smile.
I wont tell my family how I feel. Maybe they are not my family anymore… I did leave for a reason. I thought they could not hurt me anymore since I moved so far away. How wrong I was.
I also thought I was over the ‘childhood’ that I had. How wrong I was.
Sometimes it takes me by surprise, my bitterness.
~ Rebecca ~